I may never have survived. If any readers want to understand why an abused womans suffering in her marriage is NOT suffering for the sake of the Gospel, here is a page which will addresses that topic: Suffering is blessed so should I just put up with being abused? Apparently, they believed it was my fault. There really isnt a very big leap from the idea that you can beat your kid and still be a lover of Christ and you can treat your wife like garbage and it is sanctioned by the Word. It is acceptable with God Gods will for the underling to suffer wrongfully and take it patiently. A husband does not have authority from God to instruct his wife in unrighteousness. She has 10 kids with him. God commands women to be self-controlled (Titus 2:5 NET). At this point all we can do is say that Debi signed her name to these books and as such, she is saying that she endorses this. I read through these posts and comments to help me cope with my own situation, especially after an incident, and somehow it helps me with commenting on what truth I believe God has shown me alone the way. (because I was a child and didnt know everything), well then it was my fault thinking I was god because for THEM, it is all about who is GOD. We have 34 posts under our tag for John Piper. I read this book 2-3 times in college out of boredom (went to a fundy college), happy to answer any questions, lol. Thank you, MarkQ. I believe my son said they are calling it Family Vision. Michael Pearl says God will give you the same reward as the martyrs at the end of it. And now men cant think? Strangely enough, when I was in college, none of my college professors had the same shocked reaction that some of my coworkers have given me upon finding out my education background. A woman gave me that book. Just because I am not involved with this mentality doesnt mean I wont meet a person who is, and with the knowledge I gain here, I may at least be able to insert some truth and food for thought into their mind and heart. Logic and Authority in the Church. Our church secretary (a very capable, kind-hearted woman who was there for years) was replaced with a man who has been restructuring the church to shadow that of JM [John MacArthur]. Jesus said the most important command was to love the Lord our God with all our hearts. It seems that God made each male to express one side of his triad nature. (p. 261), The servant is not given the option of deciding that the master is not acting within the will of God and therefore should not be obeyed. She was another of the many authors I had to expel from my brain after God woke me up to the truth about evil through His word. Not the couples shared honeymoon but HIS. (they are always pushing the idea that to divorce is the worst thing that could EVER happen to you, you will end up sleeping in a cold bed at your mothers, or living in a trailer park alone and poor and so on). EPH320, what is JM style document that you mention is a requirement for membership in some churches? She didnt tell me until later all the abuse that took place and it harmed our relationship for a time as well. Thank you for the link to the Pearls honeymoon. They have two choices at that point, fight your way out with Gods truth and stand up to the injustice, even if just by leaving, (and this can take years and decades sometimes, I have no judgment for what a difficult process it is, and there are also situations when one cant leave for a myriad of very real and practical reasons and have to choose the lesser of two evils to stay, but even in staying they can refuse to abuse others to satisfy the abuser), or become a fellow abuser, to satisfy the sick perverse lusts of the leader for control. When I read that I said Woooow! Worst of all this is how she is portraying Christian men! Why doesnt he believe her when she says its her idea? The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. Its freeing to discuss this and realize I can leave the lies behind. Im proud of the Elders who stepped down-showing those under authority that they dont agree with the new rules. Id just like to add here how grateful I am for all the testimonies from all the woman and men who left their abusive spouse and moved on. She meant well and was deceived by the book too I believe. Anyway God brought me through it. I look back at my life with so much regret, and most of it stems from thisthat I was conditioned to allow others to make all my decisions for me and to hope they would do it right, but never feeling like I was capable of doing it myself. raped. A womans calling is not easy. (He wrote about several instances where he embarrassed women who asked him doctrinal questions, including his soon-to-be-married first daughter, by refusing to dialog with them, as it was their stepping out of their God-given hierarchy to ask him and not their husbands.) Or, at the least, it will be a struggle. He just became more practiced, deceitful, and devilish (but such a gem at church KJV and all). To be fair, she did tell women who were being physically abused that they should leave the home (but not divorce). He doesnt kick the door down. Does critical thinking exist anymore? He is a horrible person. Hi Romans818, I dont fully understand the legal implications of whether a church is breaking the law by continuing the discipline process of a member who has resigned. Barbara, heres the quote that was referenced: If your husband ever sexually handles your children, call the authorities. When she fell in the shower due to exhaustion, his Honey whats wrong with you is sheer denial of his responsibility for inconsiderate treatment. Jesus stands at the door and knocks. God created man AND woman for the purpose of having fellowship with HIM. It fits in with his child training teachings which draw on how his Amish neighbors train their mules. Already, today, several comments praising Avid Readers review have been posted on Amazon. I went along, though it quickly became pure misery for me. All the treasures of wisdom are in Christ who dwells in us (Colossians 2:3 & 1:27). God is into long-term redemption and repentance, whereas Debi says things like wear out your man day and night so that he has no sexual energy to cheat on you. This is very good news. After she has kind of protected them and raised them to respect their father, they are grown, married, and have children. My humble opinion is that we need at least 3 NT verse for any doctrine. Same materials and stuff, along with some new, that Vision Forum had. We havent got The Exemplary Husband on that list, but thats only because we havent been alerted to it before. A man has set himself up as our Pastor of Administration and Discipleship. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. I soon learned it was actually Part Two of their two-part view of a godly wifes only roles: 1. completely submissive wifehood, and 2. legalistic motherhood with mandatory homeschooling. Why would the fact that she hated that mean she was different from a man? As for why theyre so wishy-washy? Likewise, if she is not free to say no without being deemed bad, then she is not free at all. Take the sexually abused children to visit their abuser 3-4 times a year to help them heal? The whole yes and no thing is about not letting someone else turn your yes to God into a no. If I ever get around to a honeymoon, Im not cooking on it. Often those who sell their souls to make the second choice (I do not include those who choose to stay but do not become a fellow abuser themselves), find they are rewarded by becoming a proxy abuser for the abuser and are no longer directly targeted. reorganizing And do men really sit around and compare their sex lives with the other guys, boasting a bragging of their manhood? Meanwhile, Debi keeps disregarding Gods commands to keep her tradition when He writes: The Bible says that women have the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16). She (or Michael) also said that if children were being molested the mother should report the father and have him arrested (but not divorce). Hey readers, Ive let this comments thread go off track a bit onto the topic of homeschooling, and that was okay, but would you please mind not taking it further down that track from now on? This book did nothing but make me an even easier target for my husband to abuse, and it reaped nothing but bad fruit for me. Yay! Then she reads 1 Peter 3 about winning him over with her chaste behavior, and changes her conduct. I was very glad I read the book first and I definitely did NOT pass it on to my daughter. Now, I still do this initially, but I pay VERY CLOSE ATTENTION to people in Debis position, if, say for instance, they are let off the hook and the bigger abuser thats been controlling them is fired or leaves etc. But Ive since heard many parents say that they cant help their kids with math because it has to be done the new way and they have to show their work. However, we soon saw his elitist attitudes: Arrogance on all things doctrinal (My husband called him a rabid Arminian.). All of your voices really do matter. On page 207, Debi blames Bathsheba for Davids sins but never holds David himself accountable when she says that Bathshebas : .lack of discretion cost her husband his life. I became even more fearful that I couldnt support myself, that I would be ugly and undesirable, and that I was worthless to another man (or worse forbidden to have another). To answer the question that was askedits interesting that Martha Peaces book The Excellent Wife was mentioned on this thread because its very similar to Debi Pearls. Whatever goes on in the Pearls minds at any rate is seriously and dangerously twisted. I learned about Created To Be His Help Meet from someone in a Baptist Church. But I had to keep sweet in front of my pastors wife and church moms. What about divorce? Honestly, hed have to be pretty dumb to not be aware of the fact that he was using his wife like a possession, like a new farm animal he had just bought (and treating a farm animal like that would be abuse too). And he admits reading some literature that suggests that women whine and make excuses all the time..oh man. They want one spouse to sow to the flesh without reaping any consequences because they wont allow the other spouse to set any boundaries. Its more shocking because I think it is VERY likely to be TRUE of his mindset. That is Debis bookin a nutshell. Maybe shes been so abused she doesnt feel like she or anyone deserves better. What I do know is that some of the Reformed churches respect the discipline process in other churches. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. I thank the Lord every day that I did not get ahold of the Pearl book! It is incredibly disturbing to me. Your comment is not the first one to receive such treatment. Just gloating and a what is her problem? kind of attitude. But to me it reveals how corrupt and evil teachings like the Pearls are so integrated into common Christian culture!! Joke or not that is sick and evil. I had only just met her and this was my third visit. Debi has probably been indoctrinated by her narcissistic and dictatorial husband. So he gives the impression that he doesnt believe her grievances are genuine. Debi is so focused on blaming women that she will contradict herself in the process. Karen, the answer is yes to many of your rhetorical questions. Hi Jennifer, after publishing your comments I realised I should have removed your surname first. I would suggest you dont rely on Derek Prince. We never got involved with the support groups or had any interaction with other homeschool peoplebut we were at the point in our lives where we refused to play any more games with people, so I realize that we were in a very different place than many others. (I didnt understand this truth until the last decade.). I had read in a marriage book how women always have excuses, like being sleepy, having a headache, etc. What on earth is that even supposed to prove? And I was thinking what an awesome testimony it would be if she woke up to the truth, left this Antichrist husband and wrote a book denouncing WHY she had been so in error, then opening up programs for women to be de-programed and to prevent still others from buying into this destructiona version of this where GOD is the center and reason for truth reaching her heart. I agree with you letsgetreal2016 about Stormie OMartian and her telling women to cater to men. She may confront her husbands attitudes or addiction or lying or some other ungodly behavior and then she is called unsubmissive. Our purpose to exist: For me to live is Christ. That line of thought about Debis childhood is very revealing. God doesnt micromanage all spheres of authority. One in particular was her description of what happens to women who arent submissive or end up divorced. We had lived overseas for the majority of the childrens childhoods, and the DOD schools were AWESOME.